Teemo, please
by 999sea9
Summary: This fanfic explains why everybody just hates that pesky #%@ @)!( yordle.


~Teemo Please~

_Hi guys I'm 999sea9_

_Also knows as Sean or Yukain Saito! :D_

_It has been a long time since I have written some fanfics so pardon my english and I will appreciate if you can help clear up some of my grammatical errors as it'll really help_

a lot in the future stories to come ^^

_So hope you guys enjoy this short fanfic! :D_

_See ya guys soon and happy 2014~_

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><p><strong>"TEEMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"<strong>

Tryndamere came swirling towards the tiny little hamster-like yordle, with a thirst for blood.

_Well, you might wonder, "Hey! Why is everybody chasing this cute little yordle."_

_First, Yes he is cute, but deadly_

_Second, he is responsible for 99% of the kill steals in League of Legends_

_Third, he can still kill you after death._

_Let me demonstrate these reasons with a scenario._

_Wait, before I forget, his name is TEEMO._

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><p><em>Scenario One:<em>

_Ashe has spotted teemo with a vision ward._

_As Teemo would not want to get his ass kicked by Ashe, Teemo pops 'Move Quick' and runs like a mad man._

_Unfortunately, as you know, Ashe can slow you down with her frost arrows._

_Not only that, Ashe is extremely fed, meaning that she had gotten tons and tons of kills which equates to tons of gold which will make up for tons of powerful items._

_90% of the time, Ashe would be able to easily take down any squishy opponent with her frost arrows and 'volley'_

_However..._

_***POOP***_

_Yes, Ashe has been blinded by Teemo's blinding dart._

_This means that Ashe is unable to hurt Teemo no matter how many times she choses to shoot as it will do no damage. _

_However, Teemo still dies, and Ashe has again achieved another accomplishment by killing that *#($! __Yordle_

**_*BOOM*_**

_In this case, Ashe has stepped onto what we call, a Noxious Trap, where she is slowed and takes magic damage over time._

_As most of the time, Carries like Ashe do not bother to build defensive items._

_She will die to Teemo's Noxious Trap, aka Teemo's Mushroom. _

_You see kids, never chase a Teemo._

_Even when you think you've killed Teemo._

_..._

_Wait_

_I didn't talk about the kill stealing section?_

_Give me a second. _

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><p><em>...<em>

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><p><em>Here's another example.<em>

_Xin Zhao chases after a Draven who has only 200 hit points_

_Due to Xin Zhao's abilities, he should be able to land a kill on Draven_

_**_*BOOM*_**_

__Yes, Draven stepped onto a Noxious Trap.__

__And the kill gold goes over to Teemo, who died from Ashe's arrows.__

__Yes I know, that hurts. __

_As you can see, Teemo's Noxious Traps can kill anyone who is low on Hit Points_

_As a result, It makes it 99% more likely for Teemo to get a kill while you let all your hard work go down the drain._

_Yes, that sucks I know._

_Ok, Let's go back to the story shall we?_

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><p>Teemo pops "Move Quick' and runs like a mad man.<p>

Unfortunately, Nasus comes from the jungle and 'Withers' him

Teemo now moves so slow that he can literally race with a snail.

"Teemo, don't be afraid! I will come to save you!"

Tristana, one of Teemo's closest friends jumps into the fight and fires her 'Buster Shot', knocking both Nasus and Tryndamere from Teemo

**"*#^ $#?! YOU TEEMO!"**

As Tryndamere's Undying Rage ends, the burn from Tristana's 'Explosive Shot' kills him.

"Thank you Tristana! Thanks to you, I didn't get butt-r*ped!" Teemo exclaimed.

"Sure thing my pal!" Tristana replied.

However, Nasus is unforgiving and uses his ult, turning himself to a bigger doge.

Nasus then proceeds to wither Tristana, slowing Tristana by a lot.

Yes, a rank 5 Wither slows anyone from 35% to 95%

"Teemo save me!" Tristana cried out.

"Save yourself! :)" Teemo laughed, as he pops 'Move quick' again and runs the hell out of the Middle Lane.

"*&# &*(&*(! YOU TEEMO!"

Tristana managed to jump away in time and had to kite Nasus.

But for real, do you expect to kill a doge?

Tristana used all of her skills, actually not all since her 'Buster Shot' was on cooldown.

In the end, Tristana managed to put up a good fight and died, while Ignite was ticking on Nasus, who had 50 Hit Points left.

By now, you would think Tristana would get the kill on Nasus.

_***BOOM***_

Yea, you know what happens.

**"TEEMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**

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><p><em>Meanwhile, in All Chat<em>

[All] Tristana: Report Teemo for ks-ing! Stupid dog! :(

[All] Nasus: Report Teemo for being a noob

[All] Tryndamere: REPORTED NOOB SH*T ( &#!

[All] Taric: Outrageous!

[All] Ashe: NOOB BRONZE PLAYER!

[All] Teemo: T^T

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><p>Teemo, please.<p>

STOP.

Before you kill steal with your-

***BOOM***

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><p><em>-エンド-<em>


End file.
